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Mar. 18th, 2003 @ 12:14 am
I Came Home Tonight And Ate My Dinner That Rachelle Made For Me =) I Love Penne Pasta. It's So Delicious!

Anyway, I Got Online And Started Talking To Sydney. Now, I Hate To Admit This, But My Ideal Woman Isn't Jennifer Love Hewitt. It's Sydney. I Want A Red Head Chick Who's Smart, REALLY Sexy, And So Sweet. Let's Just Face It, I Want A Sydney. Too Bad She Likes Someone Else =*(

Vie, We're Going For Coffee And Taco Bell.
I'm Feeling Fucking: surprisedsurprised

Feb. 26th, 2003 @ 11:38 pm
Sorry For No Update. Let's See. I'm Still With Lauren, Unfortunately. Well, Not Really. Less Time Spent Together, Less Dates And Definitely Less Sex. Our Love Is Like The Stock Market. We Were At A Really Great High Point And *BAM*! Our Love Sunk Like A Rock And Now It's Trying To Regain Itself. I Miss Her Right Now. I Need Sex, But Not From Her.

I Talked To Sydney Today. One Thing I've Definitely Been Missing From My Life! Need More People Like Sydney And Less People Like That Jerk I Have To Work With. I Got Back Into Skateboarding Since Lauren Has So Much Damn Crap To Deal With. I'm So Pissed Off That I Quit Earlier. I Was Working On Major Tricks And Now I've Lost My Ability To Make People's Jaws Drop. Kristen Hasn't Really Been In My Life Lately Because She Home When I'm Not And Gone When I'm Home. We Had Dinner Together At Home The Other Night. Chinese Food CAN Bring People Together!

Nov. 1st, 2002 @ 09:24 pm
I Love You Sydney
I'm Feeling Fucking: artisticartistic

Jul. 8th, 2002 @ 06:44 pm
I went to work today. Some lady was pissed off because her son bought a crappy board and he made the trucks too tight so the board snapped in half. Her son is an idiot for buying that board and plus, even unexperienced riders know not to make their trucks too tight. Fucking idiot...

I went to David's last night. Unfortunately, I saw an old high school enemy. Katie, a person who never left me alone (AKA stalker). It's amazing how you run into people you liked, loved, hated and absolutely despised after 4-5 years. After a night of talking to some of the crew, I went home to find my house completely empty. Kristen had told me something about Chris she had to "do". Jen is gone. Joshua is camping with his weed buddies. So I'm alone in my vanilla colored house.

Lauren called me today while I was in the middle of eating breakfast and reading mail. (I had to mention Lauren. She's a part of my daily life Sydney..) It was short, but nice. I miss her.

Tonight I might go for coffee with Rachelle. Sounds nice huh?
I'm Feeling Fucking: lonelylonely

Jul. 8th, 2002 @ 12:22 am
Hi Sydney!

Lauren left to see her sister. I went to the movies today with her little sister. I love her family. Her mom loves me, her dad thinks I'm "the man", her brother thinks skateboarding is cool and her sisters think I'm cute. I wish my family would be that loving.

My father commented Lauren as "sexy". My mother says "she looks like every other girl you've dated". My brother Sam says "Cool", Stephanie says "She's nice", Kyle says "As long as you're happy man", Brian says "I like her" and Michael said "What girlfriend number is this? She seems like a mixture of Lysa, Michelle and Katrina." ...Thank you family.

I've been feeling kinda sick lately. I think it's from massive skateboarding in the sun. I'm a little more tan and sunburn! Skate park is the answer.

I miss Lauren...and the love
I'm Feeling Fucking: lonelylonely
Other entries
» Email
Okay, well Ashley told me last nite to email her when I wanted to talk to her. This is what I said:

Hey babe-

I somewhat thought this out. It goes something like this:

As much as I care about you and as much as I would love to be with you...I can't. Reasons?

1. I'm already in a relationship...I've been going out with her for a month and a day...

2. I'm not a devoting person Ashley. I left Kristin...why? Because I found that Lauren seemed more suitable for me. My point is, if I'm with you, there's a big chance that I'm likely going to go for someone who seems more promising to me than you.

3. I need to stablize my relationship status. I've been in and out of multiple relationships....it's terrible

4. I'm a cheater. I cheat...okay I admit it. I cheated on you, on Katrina, on everyone basically.

5. I proved my point about me being UN-perfect

Can you handle all that babe? Include the fact that I'll be 21....and if I slip back into alcohol again...oh this list is going to get longer. Ashley, I'll make a trip to see you, but not to be with you. ...Or maybe it might be to be with you....the point is, don't expect a relationship with me. ...I don't know what you really see in me at all. I'm just one fucked up person.

I asked for advice and this is what I got:

Vie - Nick, you need a life desperately. "Girl #410 was flirting with me, I love her, but what about my girlfriend" You're fucked up Nick

Sydney - You're just impressed that there's someone out there that likes you and you're flattered by it. You have a constant flaw in you that makes you leave whomever you're with and claim to love because someone new likes you, too. In about a week and a half of leaving the person you 'loved', you automatically love the new one and blah blah blah.. I don't think that you even know what love is, Nick. I just think that you want so much to feel love that you tell everyone and their uncle that you adore them deeply.


I think Sydney basically tells my life. Please understand sweetie...

» Decisions
Ashley was on-line today.

Scoop on Ashley: My 6th girlfriend....ex now, dumped her for Katrina which is also my ex now. She lives in Houston, TX and I dated her on and off.

Anyway, I talked to her today. She tells me Joey (her bf or ex-bf whatever) has been treating her like crap. He dumped her for his ex-gf, but they're still sleeping together. Well, after a slight update on our lives...it ended up back into a "I wish you were here" conversation. Okay, so I still have feelings for this girl. What am I suppose to say? I'm in a confusion state and when I'm in a confusion state I get angry and I become a total jerk. I yelled at Ashley and I feel terrible for doing so. She constantly told me she loved me and that if I would go visit her for one week, she'd be satisfied. What am I suppose to say to Lauren? "Hey Lauren, I'm going to see my ex girlfriend in Texas, be back in a week". ...Fuck no. Knowing Ashley and I, we'll end up fucking and then I fuck up my relationship with Lauren and then Ashley is probably going to find defaults in me and that will be the end.

Ashley: i love you.... i don't know what is so wrong with that....i'll always love you Nick.... ur my goober...

Ashley: just don't be a jerk...i have too many of those in my life already...i don't need another...

What am I suppose to do? ...Sydney! Vienna! Kater! Anyone?!?
» Ex-gfs
I went to the store today and saw my ex-girlfriend. Lysa....the slut who cheated on me. Well, as I was walking down the aisle for some meat, I bumped into her. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was brown and had highlights in it and her eyes were the most beautiful green. I looked at her and totally forgot where I was, who I loved and what time of the day it was. I asked her if she would go get coffee with me...just to catch up on news.

Apparently, she was in town for the week because her mother is ill. She just broke up with this guy who she went out with for a year and a half and she was just trying to recover. It was so sad. All these years, I had given her a bad reputation; as a slut. I felt terrible, but what she did to me was terrible.

It got me thinking though. Kristen slept with my friends and some of the football guys at parties and yet, I'm still friends with her. Could I allow myself to be friends with Lysa again? Her beauty and her changed personality would effect my relationship with Lauren. After all, I have a bad record of cheating on my girlfriends with very attractive people. What could I do? If I allow the friendship, what will happen when she goes back to college? I gave her my phone number so she could contact me whenever possible and I let her go home to her mother.

Tonight, she called me up and asked if I wanted to hang out with her. Lauren was out with her friends and wouldn't be home until later, so I agreed. We went for dinner and walked around discussing major things in our lives. Who we dated, who we screwed, who we hated in high school and...why we broke up. I told her about Lauren and how I came to be her boyfriend and Lysa told me about Rick, Dan, Chris....etc etc. I tried not to bore her with my life with Kristen and Lauren. It was really wonderful to talk to her again.

The evening came to an end and I took her home. As we were standing there in front of her door, I said good-bye and hoped to see her tomorrow. She said she'd call me and...for that moment, we stared into each other's eyes and she made her move. Our lips touched for just a slight second and I pulled away. She looked down at the ground in shame and I knew right then and there, she would be an effect in my relationship with Lauren. I came home feeling mixed emotions and guilty. Lauren came home an hour later and she knew there was something wrong. I told her about how I bumped in Lysa in store and how we kissed without really knowing why. Lauren told me that if I did it again, she'd handcuff me to a bed post with no food or water for 3 days and absolutely no sex for a month.

So that ends my day. Yet, after seeing Lysa, I still find that Lauren is the greatest. I love you Lauren and I miss spending quality time with you....
ImLkeAnMnM: Kissing Every Little Part Of Your Body...
Redeem The Angel: Nick, I'm gay.
ImLkeAnMnM: With Craig
Redeem The Angel: Yes.
ImLkeAnMnM: Exactly
Redeem The Angel: I'm gay with Craig.
Redeem The Angel: Yes.

» (No Subject)
I will buy you cheesecake for you birthday Sydney because I LOVE YOU
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